Word-Count Wednesday 014

Currently Working On
This freakin Drama Scene!!!!!!!!
I just don't want it to suck

Process?
I just want to write everything down. From EXACTLY how the character is speaking and what EXACTLY they are doing while they are speaking. I guess that's the hard part about Drama writing, you have to give up A LOT of control when it comes to your characters.

I don't like that.

Currently Reading
Still reading The Thousandth Floor. I read a good chunk the other day. :)

High School Nostalgia (who would have thought)

I wish I still had that corsage from prom

The one tied with the blue satin ribbon

The same ribbon you tied around my heart

Even with you miles away

And no longer there

I still feel you tug on it

Every so often. 

R.E Savini

Word-Count Wednesday 013

Currently Working on
Nothing at the moment. I am going to be working on Match Day some more and I am also going to start working on the Drama scene. I have a few ideas, I just need to pick a direction.

The Process
I'm nervous about writing the drama scene. My comfort zone definitely lies in short stories, so this is new territory for me. I don't know if my ideas will work or how they will turn out.

Currently Reading
Still reading The Thousandth Floor. Haven't really been able to make too much of a dent in it. With the end of the semester coming up, I am finding myself getting swamped with all of the homework and studying that needs to be done.

A Letter to Myself (10 years later)

Dear Me,

Do people still call you a bitch? Good. Keeps you humble. I hope you are successful in whatever way that means for you. I hope you're not working retail anymore (if you are, then you are most definitely a bitch by now).

I hope you have moved on from that one boy. God I hope you moved on.

Have you written those books yet? If not, I'm disappointed in you. If you have, FINALLY.

I hope you have met someone who makes you happy. I hope he adores you. I hope you adore him too.

And if you end up alone, then you end up alone. Adopt a bunch of cats, you'll survive.

People always leave anyways.

Are you still afraid of things? Stop that. You can't live like that anymore.

I hope you get up earlier than 10am. I'm still having trouble with that. If you still are, then stop it. You're wasting a whole lot of your days, and you only get so many.

Don't be so hard on yourself. A lot of this outside shit doesn't matter, and I hope you have figured that out by now.

Is your hair still short? If not, then I know you want to cut it by now. Just do it bro.

Not much to say except that I hope you are out of the town and moving on. As you know, feeling stuck is an absolutely terrible and hopeless feeling. I hope you are not stuck anymore. I hope you are free.

Kick ass and take names. Life's too short not to.

Mom says Hi.

-Rachel (Yourself) (You know that) (Bye)

Match Day

20 days until Match Day

///

“This thing itches.” Kay scratched her arm where the disc had been administered with chewed finger nails.

            “Don’t!” Dom reached over to smack his sister’s hand away from the incision. “You’ll make it worse.”

Kay reeled out of her twin’s reach, tucking her right arm into her side, fingers still grazing the skin, lighter this time. She flicked her long bangs out of her eyes as she continued her strides across the darkened park and through the tree line. Dom’s long legs made it easier for him to keep up with her hurried steps.

Kay almost didn’t hear her brother’s nervous questions as she batted tree branches out of their path, crunching on crisp fallen leaves as she went.

“Are they even here?” Dom’s voice had a slight quiver to it, despite the fact that they meet their friends here on a regular basis.

Her eyes grazed over Dom’s tall, skinny frame. Noting the way his brown eyes darted every which way and the slight tremor that haunted his fingers. Getting their discs in made them officially eligible for Match Day; a concept that had become a starling reality for the pair. Kay had put on a brave face for her brother as the nurse had shoved the needle carrying the deadly device into her arm, but deep down she was terrified of the fact that it could drop her dead in as soon as a month.

“Yeah, they’re here,” Kay said, pointing ahead to the soft glow of the bonfire and noting the figures gathered around it. “It’s just a quiet night.”

Out of their entire group, Kay and Dom were the first ones to get their discs for Match Day. Wanda was the next one up, but she wouldn’t be sixteen for a few more months. Sage and Mason still had a good eight months or so before their turn as well. Corey, being the youngest of all of them, had a full year.

Kay couldn’t help but be jealous of the newly fifteen year old. What she wouldn’t give for just one more day disc free.

It was completely silent as the twins came up to the fire pit. Their friends had looks of worry and fear written across their faces. Even the fire knew not to crackle too loud. Sage and Mason, who were usually throwing anything and everything into the fire while giggling wildly, were sitting on the ground, legs crossed, expressions blank. Kay had never seen the two boys so still in her entire life.

It was unsettling.

Wanda sat on one of their usual logs, her skinny elbow rested on her equally skinny knees, her head was hung low, her blonde curls falling in a cloud around her face. Her shoulders shuttered ever so slightly. After already losing both of her parents to Match day, Wanda had taken the news of the twin’s injections the hardest.

This was the beginning of the end for them, but Kay pushed that out of her head and asked the last thing that was on everyone’s minds.

“Where’s Corey?”

Kay’s voice seemed to make everyone jump out of whatever trance they had been in. Sage and Mason scurried from their spots and wrapped their arms around Dom’s waste. Wanda zipped past the three boys to engulf Kay in a fierce hug. Kay hugged her back, startled at the group’s sudden reaction.

“Relax guys!” Kay pried Wanda’s arms from her neck, as Dom tried to do the same with the boys. Kay was about to say something smart about the fact that the injections weren’t a death sentence, but one look at Wanda’s face had her stomach tied in knots.

Her curly hair was tangled in a nest-like state, like she had tossed and turned all night. Her eyes were puffy and red; probably from crying. She wore an over sized sweatshirt that probably belonged to Dom at one point. She was drowning in the fabric.

Kay instead put a hand on her friends shoulder; squeezing slightly and giving her a meaningful look. There’s nothing we can do. She tried to say silently.

Wanda nodded back to her, laying Kay’s hand over hers and intertwining their fingers. She cast a sad look to Dom, who refused to meet her eyes.

The moment was somber and heavy, everything Kay wanted to avoid. Just as she was about to choke on black clouds above them, Corey came bursting through the bushes, throwing tree branches and leaves as he did so.

“Guys!”

Everyone jumped at his high pitched shriek, at fifteen puberty still hadn’t caught up to him. His short body folded in half, hands resting on his knees as he tried to catch his breath. Long frizzy red hair getting caught in his mouth every time he heaved in. His eyes were screwed shut, face as red as a tomato. Kay was surprised with how out of breath he was. This kid didn’t weigh one hundred pounds soaking wet, so when he ran he was light as a feather. She very rarely saw him huffing and puffing.

“Jesus Corey!” Wanda snapped. Sage and Mason quickly removed themselves from Dom’s waist and raced over to Corey. Sage grabbed him by the shoulders, both boys whispering furiously to him. Corey quickly pushed them away, his breath now regained, he drew himself up to his full height of five foot nothing and took a deep breath.

“I found a way.”

Kay and Dom both gave him a sideways look.

“A way to what?” Dom asked cautiously.

Corey took another deep breath.

“A way out of Match Day.”

Fear and anger rose up in Kay’s throat. Anyone who talked of getting out of Match Day was always found and hauled away. That’s how the twin’s mother went. One day she was cursing the discs at coffee, the next day she was being dragged out of the house by two large policemen kicking and screaming. Kay remembers her mother’s disdain for Match Day very clearly. Population control my ass she would say, It’s another way for them to control us. But Kay knew the truth. It was population control. The country was out of resources, and had been for some time. Match Day was a way to fix that and maybe delay the starvation and hunger that would soon set in. If she had to die so someone’s kid could eat, then that was that. But one thing was for certain, she was not going to be hauled off like her mother was. She wasn’t going to put Dom or any of her friends through that again.

“Say that any louder and they’ll flay you, Corey.” Kay spat at him.

Corey balled up his fists and pursed his lips. This was a conversation they had over and over again, Corey was terrified of getting his disc. He had a million and one conspiracy theories and plans to get out of Match Day, which he got curtesy of the Mulholland siblings and their groupies.

“Callie has a way this time, she-“

“Callie had a way last time too didn’t she? Last I checked it got a guy killed and almost got you hauled off.” Kay stomped her way over to the fire pit, trying to gain some distance between her and the red head. She could hear Sage murmuring to Corey as they all followed.

“Just drop it man. She got her disc today.”

Corey ignored him, continuing after Kay with more anger than ever.

“Don’t you get it?!” He was yelling at her now. “You are going to die, Kay.” He whipped his skinny arm around his body, pointing a finger at her brother. “Dom is going to die. The discs will kill him.”

All color drained from Dom’s face. His eyes went wide with fear. He stretched out a trembling hand, which Wanda took eagerly.

“Don’t drag him into this Corey,” Kay stood up, her five foot six frame towering over the red head. “You’re beef is with me. Keep it that way.” She bumped his shoulder as she past him, making her way back to her brother’s side.

“Don’t listen to him Dominic.” Wanda soothed.

Kay laid a hand on his shoulder.

“Yeah, don’t listen to him.”

First Match Day

///

            No one died on their first Match Day. This was the mantra that Kay had been repeating to Dom and herself for the past month. Match day landed on the day corresponding with the month. It was currently October, which meant that Match Day landed on the 10^th. It was a week day, so luckily Dom was distracted with school work, but that didn’t mean that anyone forgot what day it was.

            As they walked into school, it was impossible not to notice the silence. Kay scanned the area, looking for kids with tears in their eyes or any sign that the match had already been chosen and it wasn’t Dom or Kay. But there were no tears, no screams of anguish; only silent kids waiting anxiously for a phone call to the office.

            “See Dom,” Wanda said as they walked towards their first classes, “the matches almost always happen in the morning.”

Dom did not look comforted by her words. There was only so much school work that could be done in order to avoid thinking about the possibility of your death, so Dom had spent most of the night switching off between tossing in bed and researching for a history project. His hair was tangled beyond belief, usual silky curls frazzled into a mess on his head. His eyes were bloodshot and puffy from a combination of crying and sleep deprivation.

            Having spent the better half of the night bringing her brother down from anxiety attacks, Kay was sure she didn’t look much better. Her long hair was frizzy beyond belief when she had looked in the mirror this morning, chucking it up in a bun was probably no help, but she did it anyways. Her skin had paled some throughout the night, maybe from the constant feeling of nausea in the pit of her stomach. She could barely keep her eyes open as Dom talked her ear off about his project, and when he finally fell asleep, she was too occupied with the possibility of him dropping dead the next day to get some sleep herself.

Even in her sleep deprived state, she knew she just needed to keep her brother calm for as long as possible.

“It was probably some old man that dropped at the crack of dawn.” She said, earning a grimace from Wanda.

Dom shrugged his shoulders, looking like he really wasn’t hearing what either one of them were saying to him.

They kept walking down the hall, their old shoes squeaking on the linoleum floors, and into their first class of the day. They took their usual seats; Dom in the third row, Kay right behind, and Wanda one row over.

As students filed in, each one of their looks lingered on the twins. They were of the first to get the discs in the class, so they were all curious. At least that’s what Wanda had said to keep Kay calm, but right now it wasn’t working.

“Nothing to see chumps.” Kay spat at the new wave of classmates that walked in. They quickly averted their gazes to the floor and settled in their seats. No need for them to suffer under the eyes of judgmental teenagers. She reached forward, placing a hand on her brothers’ shoulder, giving him an encouraging squeeze. He turned his head, eyes finding hers beneath his shaggy hair, letting her know that he heard her loud and clear.

Their teacher came in and they started their lesson for the day. She started by telling everyone the proper Match Day procedure if she or any of their teachers, faculty, or classmates were to be “lucky matches”, and then continued to tell everyone to put it out of their minds for now and focus on their work.

Kay kept her head down for the first thirty minutes. Math being one of her favorite subjects, she found it easy to lose herself in the numbers. She constantly caught Wanda turning her head over to Dom out of the corner of her eye, checking him over to make sure he was okay. Kay knew he was fine, but she snuck a few looks his way anyways. She didn’t notice anything but the slight tremor in his hands, but unfortunately, that was normal.

A little later into class and Kay knew there was something wrong. Call it ESP or a freaky twin thing, something was not right. Kay looked up and reached out to tap Dom’s shoulder with her pencil. Even the slightest touch made him jump slightly. He refused to turn her way. Kay noticed a slight tremble in his shoulders, and immediately was concerned.

She hopped out of her seat, kneeling down next to Dom, and saw what she never hoped to see.

He was sweating buckets. Small droplets falling from his nose and onto his schoolwork below. His hair was stuck to his face, obscuring his vision. His skin was paler than she had ever seen it before, making him look ghostly. His entire body was beginning to tremble. Kay placed her hand on his arm, panicking at how hot he felt.

She pivoted around to look at Wanda beside her. She looked exactly how Kay felt. Eyes wide with fear, eyebrows disappearing into her hairline, mouth stuck rounded in a small “o”. Kay stuck her arm out to smack her friend, silently telling her to get it together and help her. She wrapped her arms around her brother, guiding him up and out of his seat. Then she passed him over to Wanda, who had now gained the sense to stand up and help out. Each girl had one of his long arms draped over their shoulders and their own wrapped around his waist, quickly making their way out of the classroom and into the hallway. They carefully placed his long body on the floor, propping him up against the wall.

            “He’s matched! He’s matched!” Wanda was frantic. Pulling at her hair and digging her fingernails into her skin.

            “No way.” Kay said to her. “There’s no way! It’s our first day! They never match on their first day!” She was shouting now, and painfully aware of the fact that she was letting her brother see her freak out.

            “You don’t get it Kay.” Wanda grabbed her shoulders, holding them tight. “This is how it happens. One minute you’re fine, the next you’re on the floor.”

            Kay’s eyes went wide.

            Her heart dropping into her stomach.

            This was actually happening.

            She dove to her brother, laying him down, cradling his head in her lap. She smoothed his hair off his face, running her fingers through his curls. She could only stare down at him in shock and wait for it to be over.

            The sound of crying caught her ears. Her head snapped up, extremely confused as to who else would be crying. The twins didn’t really have many friends, and there was only one of them present to be upset at Dom getting matched. She peered past Wanda and down the hall. There was a group of people, part of the Mulholland group by the look of them, crowded in the hallway. Kay couldn’t pin point exactly who was there, but she wasn’t really worried about that. Her eyes were glued to the bottoms of two more pairs of shoes. Both laid out just like Dom was.

            Wanda let out a cry, tearing Kay away from the scene down the hall and back to her brother in her arms. She was now frantically running her hands through his hair as Wanda clutched his hand in her own. His eye cracked open a fraction of an inch. He gasped for air, coughing up blood as he did so. Kay tried to soothe him as best a she knew how. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t stop the tears from pooling in her eyes.

            “I love you.” She whispered it softly, wiping sweat from his brow with the sleeve of her jacket. Wanda was whimpering next to her. She couldn’t spare a look at her friend.

            “I love you too.” His voice was softer than she had ever heard before. Dry and crackled from the lack of air. He squeezed his eyes tight, grimacing in some type of pain that Kay would give and arm and a leg to remove from his body. He opened his mouth and said it again and again until he gave one last shutter and the breath left his body.

            Kay went rigid.

Her worst nightmare has come true.

Her best friend

Her brother

Her entire world

Was now dead in her arms.

Her chest grew tight. She couldn’t breathe as hot tears streaked down her face and into his hair. She was only slightly aware of Wanda crying beside her. She wanted so badly to reach up and close his eyes for good, but she couldn’t bring herself to let go of him for one second. So instead she lowered her head to his until their foreheads were touching; just as she had done the night before to calm him.

She let out a low moan, allowing the sorrow to fill up her lungs and escape past her lips, and tried her best not to acknowledge that it was the last time she would hold him close.

Her best wasn’t good enough.

Word-Count Wednesday 012

Currently Working On
Currently working on the narrative project for class. I just finished it yesterday and I am happy with how it turned out. I definitely want to continue this story.

The Process
The process was good, it was just hard to find time to write.
Also, I had a part in the story where a character died and I found it a little difficult to write. I wanted it to be a good death scene, but I haven't really written people dying before. I didn't want it to be super cliche and I hope it didn't turn out that way. When I do revisions I am going to do some research on how to write a death scene well and maybe tweak that part a little bit.

Currently Reading
Still reading The Thousandth Floor by Katherine McGee. I haven't made much progress on it, but I'm still reading it!

Word-Count Wednesday 011

What am I working on?
I have been working on the narrative piece for class. The due date is coming up quick! I haven't made too much progress, but I've started it so that counts for something.

How do I feel about the process?
School and work have been getting in the way (lame excuse I know). Everything is just a little overwhelming and I'm trying not to die.

Currently Reading?
I am currently reading another YA novel called The Thousandth Floor.

Over the weekend (last week) I read TWO books! WOOOOOO!!!!!

Review up on my blog ;)

www.savvireads.wordpress.com

Word-count Wednesday 009

What am I working on?
I'm dong a whole lot of brainstorming and not a lot of writing. Whoops.

How do I feel about the process?
Terrible. I feel stumped.

Currently Reading?
I am currently reading the second book in the Illuminae Files by Jay Kristoff and Amie Kaufmann. Things are happening, plots are twisting!!!

Sorry this one is a lame one, my heads in the clouds.

Word-Count Wednesday 008

What am I working on?
I am going to be working on my Exp. 7 piece that a shared about in class on Monday. I really want to see this one through. I am also starting to brainstorm ideas for the Drama Scene assignment... it's a little intimidating, but I'm excited to try it.
I am also working on a few things for my book blog as well!

How do I feel about the process?
I am super happy about the work I got done on Exp. 7. I am pumped to continue working on it.

Currently Reading?
I finished The Diabolic by S.J Kincaid right at the start of Spring Break (I'm working on the review for it) and now I have picked up Illuminae by Jay Kristoff and Amy Kaufman. :)

Experiment #7// Metamorphosis

So this is the first half(ish) of the story I am writing for the plot I was assigned in the "20 Master Plots" book.
I have more to add, but I wanted to share what I had so far before class on Monday.
I didn't get as much time to work on it over break as I wanted, but I'm pretty proud of how much I came up with.

Word Count: 2,964

Word-Count Wednesday 007

What am I working on?
I just got a jump start on Experiment #7 from the 20 Master Plots book. I have a solid idea and have gotten close to 200 words down! WOO! I am planning to for sure work on it over spring break, as well as some other projects.

I really enjoyed our conversation in class today about the world of writing and editing and all that jazz. It was encouraging to hear how much others write or want to write in a day, and it definitely made me want to step up my game.

How do I feel about the process?
When I first got the prompt for Experiment #7 I was struggling to come up with an idea as I read the chapter, but I did get a spark of an idea and I latched onto it quickly. I am excited to see where it will take me. :)

Currently Reading?
I am still reading "The Diabolic" by S.J Kincaid. It's honestly kind of boring. I am going to try to read more over spring break, but I'm debating whether to DNF the book and just move on.... I haven't decided yet...
I'll keep y'all posted.

To be a Writer

I have stories inside of me
words floating in my blood
letters tucked between my joints.
I can feel iambic pentameter pulsing in my ears
sentences twisting their way around my ribs
crushing my chest until I set them free on the page.
When the weather turns cold
those letters go stiff in my knees
until I can hardly walk.
Meter and rhyme beat with my heart
and quicken with every breath.
When I finally sit down
and rid myself of these stories
and these people,
it is then that I know what it is
to be a writer.

-R.E Savini

Turning

France 1848

~

     The gunshots were louder than I could have imagined.

     The screaming was like nothing I had ever heard before.

     Even though I knew the cause was lost, and that everyone who participated was sure to die, I couldn’t help but want to join in the chaos. It was almost magnetic, the sounds of gunfire and the desperation in the men’s voices. We were all yearning for a freedom we could not possess.

     But I knew better than to join the fight.

     The building I sat in rattled with every blast of a cannon. I could feel the bodies dropping; thumping painfully on the cobblestone streets they had grown up on, as if they were raindrops from the sky, falling and shattering once they hit the ground. I never once covered my ears though. I felt a debt to those who were fighting. I knew this was a crucial part of our history, and I wasn’t going to miss a thing. I knew that when this was all over, no one would remember their names or their faces, so one by one I listened to them fight and ultimately die.

     I owed them that much.

     I was hungrier than I had ever been before by the time it was all over. Maybe that meant hours, maybe it meant days. I could never be sure. It had been quiet for a while. The silence was unsettling.

     This is what happens after.

The smell hit me first as I stepped out of my hiding spot and into the street. Traces of gunpowder still hung in the air. It stung my insides when I breathed; I tried not to. The barricade was a sad pile of what I had seen before. Pieces of furniture from the backgrounds of happier memories thrown across the streets in desperation as a last effort to slow down the oncoming enemy. Tables, chairs, cupboards; you name it they used it to shut themselves in. All of the windows in every building nearby were broken. Powerful panes now shattered by violence and death, just like the rest of Paris.

Bodies littered the ground.

Soaked in the liquids that once occupied their limbs so eager for change.

The most profound part being that no matter which side they were on, once wounded, they bled the same red.

Mostly women and children were milling about as I was, unable to rip our eyes from the carnage in front of us. I glanced at the children, noting the fear and horror in their faces.

These are things they will never un-see.

“Mademoiselle.”

A soldier stood next to me, his uniform wrinkled and stained, his hand extended to me. A rag was clutched between his fingers, knowing the horror he was about to ask of me. I ripped my eyes from the rag to see other women being silently told the same task. Their faces went stony as they collected what was needed for the job.

If we knew anything, it was how to put our heads down and work.

The pit in my stomach that I had forgotten about up until that point began to tighten as the soldier sighed and dropped the rag at my feet. The thought of having to sift through the wreckage and clear it away made my insides burn with shame.

The men behind the barricades would not receive a proper burial.

Instead, they would tossed away. Erased, as if they never existed in the first place.

Their memories wiped clean with each swipe of a rag.

A woman came to stand next to me, stooping down to pick up the discarded rag, before pushing it into my hands.

“Just don’t think about it.” Her voice was soft and stern, eyes glossy, face calm.

As I kneeled down on the bloodstained streets, her words echoed in my head.

How could I not think about it? How could I not think about the blood that stained the ends of my dress and the soles of my shoes? How could I just wipe it away knowing that it came from the bodies of boys who wanted something better? Boys who thought they were men meant to go off to war at ages as young as sixteen. Boys who took the troubles of the people around them and made them their own responsibility.

My rag sloshes in time with the lullabies they were sang as children.

I can almost hear their cries of laughter and sadness, I can almost feel the hunger and pain they experienced throughout their lives.

I see a severed hand discarded in the gutter of the street and wonder how many times it gave a gentle touch, or how many times it was held by a loved one.

I see a body strewn out on top of a pile of splinters and wonder how many times he might have scraped his knee as a child, tripping over the furniture he now lays dead on.

I look at the few children around me and wonder if any of them lost fathers or brother in this fight. Where they thinking that they would one day grow up and share this same fate? Fighting for a world so reluctant to change?

The blood stains our hands red as we work. Our rags soaked to their limits.

We take these thoughts and push them out of our heads.

Our tears silently fall.

The world keeps turning.

Word-Count Wednesday 006

What am I working on?
I just turned in my narrative assignment! It felt really great to share it with the class and get feedback. :)
I am currently working on a blog post for my book review blog www.savvireads.wordpress.com

I will be reviewing a poetry book called "The Princess Saves Herself in This One" by Amanda Lovelace.

How do I feel about the process?
School is getting crazy again so there is not a lot of time for me to sit down and write with the intensity that I would like. But I am feeling very inspired after today.

Currently Reading?
I am currently reading a YA novel called "The Diabolic" by S.J Kincaid. I am about 100 pages in. Look for the review on my blog!

Little Lightning Girl

Storm clouds tucked between my bones

Lightning running through my veins

Humming in my ears

My power within my reach

Just where it needs to be

Careful now

I am a hurricane of a girl.

Inspired by The Red Queen//Victoria Aveyard

Word-Count Wednesday 005

What am I currently working on?

I am still chugging away at this narrative assignment. I have made some good progress, but I know that the piece is still missing something.

I got the entire weekend off from work (Score!) so I will be working on this assignment all weekend long.

How do I feel about the process?

I am feeling great about the process. I have shared the work with my friend Taylor, who is also a very talented writer, and he let me know his thoughts and helped to point me in the right direction.

It feels great to have someone let you know that what you are working on doesn't suck. :)

Word Count?

I got almost half a page the other day, which is really good considering this piece is going to be a little on the short side.

Currently Reading...

I'm on the last 100 pages of King's Cage by Victoria Aveyard. I came home from school the other day and read for like 3 hours straight! I just got sucked in! I love when that happens. I will most likely finish it this weekend. WOO!!

Take What You Can Carry

Take what you can carry

The good and the bad

Strap them to your back

And continue on

And know that when you have traveled all that you can

These things will have made you stronger still.

-R.E. Savini

Word-Count Wednesday 004

What am I working on?

Still working on the narrative project for class! I had a migraine all day yesterday and the day before, so that set me back a bit. But I worked on it today and I am feeling really good about it.

How do I feel about the process?

Process is slow. Like I said, those damn migraines really set you back. There is also construction going on at my house, so it has been hard to really work on the project.

Word Count

Maybe like 50-100 words? Not very good.

Currently Reading

Still reading King's Cage by Victoria Aveyard. I'm able to sneak in a few chapters here and there. 😎

Information over Italian Dinner

We never talk about it.

So when my Dad starts spilling information about his side of the family

left and right over dinner

It’s only natural that you drop everything and listen up.

I know everything about my Mom’s side.

I can tell you where her parents we born and raised,

And where their parents were born and raised,

And so on.

But with my Dad,

It’s a little different.

I try not to let the lack of information bother me,

But it does.

And when he starts talking about my grandfather and how he grew up

It’s another reminder that I’m not whole.

He talks like its common knowledge,

Like we have always known that our grandfather was the youngest of 10 siblings

And was practically raised by his two older sisters.

My Dad lists off names left and right

Expecting a spark of recognition to light up within us;

Uncle Tony

Uncle Frank

Aunt Mary

My brother and I can only sit there are drink it all in.

Who knows when he’ll talk of it again

And we’ll certainly never ask him.

And I’m sure a lot of people wouldn’t be bothered by the fact

 that they don’t know any of these people who died

long before they were even a thought in their parents minds.

But as he talks

My stomach drops

And I just want to cry.

I feel robbed.

I feel like this information is a part of the puzzle

that is my very existence

and I’ll never unlock it fully

because my Dad will never speak up.

It’s a part of his past that is painful to remember

And it’s a part of my history that is ever more painful

Not to know.

How can we be whole

If we don’t know the entire story?

I grew up thinking my father was one of three

When really he was the only one.

The woman my brother and I called Grandma

Married into the family.

My Dad’s mother left him when he was young.

And I hate knowing that.

I hate asking about that.

Is it really right for me to cause him pain

Just to ease my own?

And as he finishes the story

I put my fork down

And wonder when the next one will come.

I’m scared it will come too soon.

I’m scared it never will.

Word-Count Wednesday 003

What am I working on?

I have started on two different stories for the narrative assignment. My group reacted positively to both ideas, so I am going to continue working on them.

Word Count

Maybe 200 words each? I haven't looked at them in a hot minute.

How do I feel about the process?

Super excited. I really love both of the pieces I'm working on. Every once in a while I get a little stuck, but I have a lot of time to work on everything so I'm not worried.

What am I reading?

Nothing at the moment. King's Cage by Victoria Aveyard just came out on February 7th and my copy comes in the mail TOMORROW. I'm beyond excited so I will be reading that as soon as I get it.

Word-Count Wednesday 002

What am I working on?

I have started brainstorming for my narrative project. I'm trying to do something different, with different characters than I normally do. The exercise we did in class the other day about our memories really had me thinking. I tend to write a lot of characters who have VERY close friends. I love exploring that close friendship between people, and going through some memories the other day made me realize why and how that translates into my writing.

Crazy cool.

I have also been going back to the book I started writing over the summer. I am excited to hopefully work on it this weekend.

How do I feel about the process?

The writing process is painfully slow. I am in a very demanding Anatomy and Physiology class right now, so I am trying to keep on top of all of that work. I have also been out of town the last few weekends, so I feel like the time to write slips right through my fingers.

What am I reading now?

I started really getting into the Stephen King book for class. He is just such an interesting person and I really love the view he takes on writing.

I have also been exploring the blogs of my classmates. :)

Experiment #5// The Library/An iPhone that loves its owner

“This anatomy test is going to kill me.”

Jade said as she took the steps two at a time up to the library.

“You’re so dramatic.” Ally said, pushing Jade’s shoulder. “You have gotten an A on every test so far and all you ever do is study!”

“Not true!” Jade defended.

Ally continued on, ignoring her friend. “And, Dr. G loves you, so he’ll grade easy.”

“Whatever.” Jade huffed.

The Library was quiet as usual. Students sat at tables and in cubicles, studying away for their next exams. The librarians here were strict, keeping everyone quiet and in line with only a glare at most. They had hawk-like senses and Jade could only hope that Benny wouldn’t make a scene.

Jade and Ally sat down at a table in the corner of the room, far enough from the door so that they wouldn’t catch the draft. The tall shelves housing many books put Jade slightly at ease that any sounds Benny made would be buffered by the structures. The girls pulled out their notes and textbooks, laying them all out on the table. Jade held her breath and reached her hand down into her bag.

The moment her fingers touched Benny’s smooth screen, he was happy as a clam.

The loudest clam in the world.

“OH JADE I MISSED YOU SO MUCH!”

Jade quickly folded her hands around the small device and slammed it into her chest, hoping that the fabric of her shirt would muffle Benny’s cries. Everyone had their eyes on her and Ally as she gave the crowd an apologetic smile.

“Turn him down!” Ally whispered to her.

“I’m sorry,” Jade whispered back, “his volume is still broken.”

Benny’s volume had been broken for the past week, and it was driving her crazy. Everyone’s iPhone was prone to missing their owner’s touch after a few hours, but Benny was a very sensitive device. After a few minutes of putting him down in class, he would be buzzing himself to tears in her backpack. Jade often had to keep him on her lap just to keep him mildly calm. Things were easier when she could just put him on vibrate and let him cry himself down to 5%, but with his volume broken, it was much harder to console him.

Jade tilted her head down until her chin was touching her chest.

“Benny, you know I love you lots, but this is a library. People are trying to study and get work done, so you have to be really quiet. Do you think you could do that for me?”

Two short vibrations tickled her chest, letting her know that Benny had gotten the message. She slowly took Benny form her chest, and gently set him on the table in front of her.

All of four seconds went by before the entire room knew of Benny’s feelings once more.

“OH JADE PLEASE DON’T PUT ME DOWN I MISSED YOU SO MUCH!”

Once again Jade snatched Benny form the table, shushing him as she tried to ignore all of the eyes on her.

“Jade…” Ally whined.

“I know, I’m sorry.” She apologized again to her friend.

Jade carefully placed Benny on her lap, hoping the warmth of her skin would be enough to soothe him and keep any other outbursts at bay. It worked for a few minutes, but after that Benny was back to vibrating away. Jade continued to ignore him, knowing that he was just being clingy, and focused on her work. Just as she started to get lost in the world of blood cells and bone structure, Benny’s shrill ringing tossed her right out of it.

She flipped the device over and clicked his home button, revealing two bright blue orbs that represented his eyes.

“Benny…” she growled.

“I’M SORRY JADE I JUST REALLY REALLY MISSED YOU TODAY AND I FEEL LIKE WE ARE DRIFTING APART! I DON’T WANT TO DRIFT APART BECAUSE I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!”

Many people got up to leave as Benny’s shrill cries filled the air. Jade desperately tried to calm Benny down so they wouldn’t get thrown out of the library.

“Benny, listen to me, I’m just trying to-“

“YOU ARE ALWAYS STUDYING AND YOU DON’T HAVE TIME FOR ME ANYMORE!” Benny cried cutting her off. His ring tone jumped up a few more octaves as vibrations wracked his little body. There was no consoling him now.

“Excuse me.”

Jade and Ally looked up to see one of the librarians at their table. Her eyes were narrowed and focused in on Benny so harshly, Jade feared he might break from her glare.

“Your device is disrupting the other students, I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”

Jade and Ally silently packed up their things as Benny continued to wail hysterically.

“Sorry our study session was ruined.” Jade apologized as she and Ally left the library.

Ally shrugged it off.

“Technology; can’t live with it, can’t live without it.”

“Agreed.”

Word-Count Wednesday 001

What am I working on?

I am going to do experiment #4 for class based off of the book I am working on. I have had so much writers block when it comes to this particular story, so I'm excited to finally get working on it again. I have also been writing poetry here and there.

How do I feel about the process?

Taking this class and being among other creative people has really inspired me. I am beyond excited to get back in that head-space of writing again. I have missed it a lot.

What am I reading now?

I am experiencing "book hangover" right now. I finished Glass Sword by Victoria Aveyard a little while ago and the ending was brutal. I get very invested into stories and characters, so when bad things happen to them I can't help but get upset. The next book in the series comes out next month, so I am trying to find something lighthearted to read in the meantime.

Experiment #3 Maps- Havenport

Hello! My name is Kaleb.
Now before I tell you the story of how my friends and I had to save the town from an evil and scary magical force with my brother and his friends (who also have magical powers) it's important for you to know the lay of the land.
So welcome to Havenport! A warm and fuzzy little town in the middle of nowhere. The population isn't really important, but other people live here, I promise.
I live at 324 Dear St. with my brother Jim and our Mom Maggie (don't call Mom Maggie, she says it's disrespectful). Our house is probably the smallest in the entire town, maybe not, but it sure feels that way sometimes. Our front yard is filled with dead grass and the remnants of the flowers Mom tried to grow last spring. The white paint is pealing, and the shutter on the left side of the house is crooked. Mrs. Jacobs, Sadie's Mom, once told the PTA at our school that is was an "eyesore", whatever that means. My brother Jim has friends on the lower side of town, but I'm not allowed over there, so it's not on the map.
My best friend Sadie lives a few blocks up the street from me. If she and I stand in the middle of the street in front of our houses at the same time and wave our arms around really fast, we can see each other! I know this because we did it one time. All I could make out was the blur of her favorite pink sweater, but it was still her. Her mom yelled at her for standing in the road, but it was still really cool.
My other best friend Carlos lives a few streets over. His house is the closest to the field, but we'll get to that later. Carlos is the best biker out of all of us, mainly because he lives right across the street from the bike runs.
This is hands down the BEST part of the entire town. The dirt is just dry enough to get all over your spokes, but sturdy enough that it won't swallow you whole when you break hard after a few laps. The jumps there are the only place in the entire town where you can get any air time.
Carlos gets so much air time that Sadie and I secretly think his bike has wings.
Across the street from Sadie's house is Al's Ice Cream Shop! We go there every afternoon in the Summer. Al is a very nice old man, and on Sundays his give us FREE sundaes! \
Al is the best.
 Across the way from Al's and a few streets down from Jim's High School is the park. Now I have only set my eyes on that park a few times, and the only thing I know about it is that it's where Jim has baseball practice. Jim also hangs out with his friends there every Wednesday night, but I'm not supposed to know that.
Between Jim's school and my school is the Grocery store. Sometimes Mom takes us there on "family shopping trips" but that usually only happens when we are in trouble or after she has worked a few very long shifts at the hospital.
No matter which way we get there, it's not the most enjoyable thing.
Jim's friend Benny works at the grocery store. He's important to remember later in the story.
Then there is my school, Havenport Middle School. Sadie and Carlos go to school there too. When I was in fifth grade and afraid to go to middle school, Jim decided to scare me and my friends by telling us that the school was built on an Indian burial ground and was haunted.
Jim is kind of a jerk.
Behind the school is the Forbidden Field. Don't call me stupid or over dramatic for calling it that, it really is forbidden. The Field has been fenced off for as long as anyone in the town can remember. Even old Al said its been fenced off since he was a kid! (and that was like a billion years ago). The Field is a long long stretch of grass that never dies, no matter what the weather. The grass stretches into a thick patch of Oak trees, and after that no one knows. No one ever goes back there, or, no one ever did go back there. The day after Sadie, Carlos, and I snuck out to follow Jim and his friends, we noticed that the fence has a hole in it! The hole is just big enough to let a person through. But my friends and I don't think someone came from the Field, we think something came from the Field.
Now the you know the lay of the land, the story might be easier to follow. Here, take the map, just remember to give it back to after you've read the story.
And yes, everything is completely true.

I waste my time crying over you.
I cry so hard my stomach churns,
making me sick
and I can't tell you why.
And I know you're lounging on a beach
 somewhere not caring.
I know that.
But here I am,
3am
and my tears still fall,
and my hands still shake,
and despite my best efforts
I still miss you.

-R.E Savini

She is the sun.

She is his sun.

He is blinded by her light.

And when she sets 

he falls the the floor

and kisses the Earth

until she rises again.

-R.E Savini

I've always been the hopeful one.

But I've learned

that being hopeful

only leaves you open

to be disappointed.

-R.E Savini

Which is worse.

That I still love you

Or that you're miles away

Loving someone else

-R.E Savini

For Joanna

I'm so far from home.
Home is so far from me.
Here comes the storm.
What if it crushes me?

I have to be strong
for those surrounding me.
But here comes the storm.
What if it drowns me?

I need some air in this broken space,
we need to move along.
But I can't help when I see that face.

Here I come,

I'm strong.

But how long can I be
what this world needs from me?
And how long can I brave
this storm that's in my brain?

I am not strong,
I've been pretending all along.
And I'm not quite so sure
But here comes the storm.

          -R.E Savini

Inspired by Salt to the Sea by Ruta Sepetys.